For the past thirty years, my partner and many others have been pursuing the building of an Arts Centre for our small rural community. Last September, I made a decision to join the group as co-chair with my partner and now we stand at the threshold of where it might be "more than" possible to build an 8-10 million dollar building. Having come through Wicca ,Reclaiming and Feri; I am both standing in my power and feeling scared as hell. It has been over twenty years since I 'retired' from working in community to do "my work" and I must admit that I never saw this coming! What a ride!
Yes, I am at a threshold. And I've also just finished watching your video "What's Stopping You?". As usual, both these are very timely. Nearly six years ago, five days after my 70th birthday, I had a heart attack. Surgery was necessary, and when I asked my cardiologist for a prognosis, she gave me a "little over a year". So, I busied myself getting my will done, advance directives and arranging and paying a funeral home to pick up my body, get it ready, and deliver it to a medical school and Cebu. And the I took a seat in "God's waiting room". Nothing happened, and there was even a short period during which I got angry. I had gotten my ticket, packed my bags and even gone to the airport. But my plane never arrived. I floundered for quite some time, feeling like I had no purpose to continuing to take up space on the planet. So, I wrote a book. And when that was done, browsed through Yahoo and discovered a world of free courses online. I just completed my fourth course, World Literature through Harvard. I read 12 books in 13 weeks and ended up with a final grade of 96. I've just started a course in Buddhist Studies from the Open Buddhist University (also free!) I can take up to 16 courses there, if I choose. I've also been back to daily meditation for about five months now, and paying more attention to food preparation. The results have been quite astonishing. My cardiologist says she thinks I must be a cat. After a boatload of tests, the results indicate that I'm actually quite healthy, even though my heart is damaged to the point that it is quite chore to leave home and I need a wheel chair if we are going to the mall or supermarket. I only go about once every three or four months. For the past four months I've been busy "building" a daily life that feels good to me, but that also challenges me to be the best me I can be each day. I'm taking courses, developing a spiritual practice, doing lots of reading, and looking for ways to "gift myself" with gentleness, love and acceptance of who and where I am on any given day. This isn't always easy, but it has given me a greater appreciation of finding myself alive each morning and then stepping the day with intention and as much openness as I can muster.
So, Thorn......thank you again for your gentle push....because there is a thing or two that I keep saying I want to do, but never quite get around to doing. I guess it's time for more reflection on that.
For the past thirty years, my partner and many others have been pursuing the building of an Arts Centre for our small rural community. Last September, I made a decision to join the group as co-chair with my partner and now we stand at the threshold of where it might be "more than" possible to build an 8-10 million dollar building. Having come through Wicca ,Reclaiming and Feri; I am both standing in my power and feeling scared as hell. It has been over twenty years since I 'retired' from working in community to do "my work" and I must admit that I never saw this coming! What a ride!
Yes, I am at a threshold. And I've also just finished watching your video "What's Stopping You?". As usual, both these are very timely. Nearly six years ago, five days after my 70th birthday, I had a heart attack. Surgery was necessary, and when I asked my cardiologist for a prognosis, she gave me a "little over a year". So, I busied myself getting my will done, advance directives and arranging and paying a funeral home to pick up my body, get it ready, and deliver it to a medical school and Cebu. And the I took a seat in "God's waiting room". Nothing happened, and there was even a short period during which I got angry. I had gotten my ticket, packed my bags and even gone to the airport. But my plane never arrived. I floundered for quite some time, feeling like I had no purpose to continuing to take up space on the planet. So, I wrote a book. And when that was done, browsed through Yahoo and discovered a world of free courses online. I just completed my fourth course, World Literature through Harvard. I read 12 books in 13 weeks and ended up with a final grade of 96. I've just started a course in Buddhist Studies from the Open Buddhist University (also free!) I can take up to 16 courses there, if I choose. I've also been back to daily meditation for about five months now, and paying more attention to food preparation. The results have been quite astonishing. My cardiologist says she thinks I must be a cat. After a boatload of tests, the results indicate that I'm actually quite healthy, even though my heart is damaged to the point that it is quite chore to leave home and I need a wheel chair if we are going to the mall or supermarket. I only go about once every three or four months. For the past four months I've been busy "building" a daily life that feels good to me, but that also challenges me to be the best me I can be each day. I'm taking courses, developing a spiritual practice, doing lots of reading, and looking for ways to "gift myself" with gentleness, love and acceptance of who and where I am on any given day. This isn't always easy, but it has given me a greater appreciation of finding myself alive each morning and then stepping the day with intention and as much openness as I can muster.
So, Thorn......thank you again for your gentle push....because there is a thing or two that I keep saying I want to do, but never quite get around to doing. I guess it's time for more reflection on that.