For the past thirty years, my partner and many others have been pursuing the building of an Arts Centre for our small rural community. Last September, I made a decision to join the group as co-chair with my partner and now we stand at the threshold of where it might be "more than" possible to build an 8-10 million dollar building. Having come through Wicca ,Reclaiming and Feri; I am both standing in my power and feeling scared as hell. It has been over twenty years since I 'retired' from working in community to do "my work" and I must admit that I never saw this coming! What a ride!

Expand full comment
Feb 5Liked by T. Thorn Coyle

Yes, I am at a threshold. And I've also just finished watching your video "What's Stopping You?". As usual, both these are very timely. Nearly six years ago, five days after my 70th birthday, I had a heart attack. Surgery was necessary, and when I asked my cardiologist for a prognosis, she gave me a "little over a year". So, I busied myself getting my will done, advance directives and arranging and paying a funeral home to pick up my body, get it ready, and deliver it to a medical school and Cebu. And the I took a seat in "God's waiting room". Nothing happened, and there was even a short period during which I got angry. I had gotten my ticket, packed my bags and even gone to the airport. But my plane never arrived. I floundered for quite some time, feeling like I had no purpose to continuing to take up space on the planet. So, I wrote a book. And when that was done, browsed through Yahoo and discovered a world of free courses online. I just completed my fourth course, World Literature through Harvard. I read 12 books in 13 weeks and ended up with a final grade of 96. I've just started a course in Buddhist Studies from the Open Buddhist University (also free!) I can take up to 16 courses there, if I choose. I've also been back to daily meditation for about five months now, and paying more attention to food preparation. The results have been quite astonishing. My cardiologist says she thinks I must be a cat. After a boatload of tests, the results indicate that I'm actually quite healthy, even though my heart is damaged to the point that it is quite chore to leave home and I need a wheel chair if we are going to the mall or supermarket. I only go about once every three or four months. For the past four months I've been busy "building" a daily life that feels good to me, but that also challenges me to be the best me I can be each day. I'm taking courses, developing a spiritual practice, doing lots of reading, and looking for ways to "gift myself" with gentleness, love and acceptance of who and where I am on any given day. This isn't always easy, but it has given me a greater appreciation of finding myself alive each morning and then stepping the day with intention and as much openness as I can muster.

So, Thorn......thank you again for your gentle push....because there is a thing or two that I keep saying I want to do, but never quite get around to doing. I guess it's time for more reflection on that.

Expand full comment